How the Grinch Stole the Paris Climate Agreement

Every nation on earth saw the world getting hot …

But the Grinch, from the Grand Oil Party, did NOT!

He hated the pact made on this Christmas season,

He hated true facts, he hated sound reason.

The Grinch forgot all about Hurricane Sandy.

But always remembered his oil and coal candy.

Not forest infernos, nor hard rains in Texas,

But billionaire bucks were the crux of his nexus.

And as ocean waters crept into Miami,

Awash in Koch money, he lounged in his jammies.

But this night his G.O.P nerves were so frighted

At the specter of all the world’s people united.

“They’ll build out clean power!” he snarled with a sneer.

“The end of coal candy is practically here!”

Then he growled with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,

“I MUST find a way, keep clean power from coming!”

Then he got an idea, surely not heaven-sent.

“We’ll dress up a crack-pot like a president!”

“And the climate agreement that I have so dreaded,

“In just 13 months can be easily shredded!”

But with 13 running the picture was hazy.

They mostly competed to find the most crazy.

But come the next year the grinch plan did bear fruit,

A crackpot contender, Koch money to boot!

Then young people who loved the earth, loved the nation,

And sought steady climate for civilization,

Asked the contender, “Oh, grinchy one, why

“Do you want greenhouse gas going up to the sky?

“We will keep building wind, solar and water,

“For all of the people, old, young, son and daughter.”

And come November, Karl Rove, again shocked,

Saw the Oil Party get knocked, rocked and socked!

For president, the vote came in 60-40,

In favor of one from the Non-Crackpot Party.

And the climate pact made on the Christmas before,

Gained in momentum from shore-to-shore-to-shore.

The poor Grinch’s spirit was not very sunny.

He made a bonfire of all his Koch money.

And things looked much brighter for earth, for the nation,

Gave even Grinch kids hope for civilization.


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7 years ago

Love it, Quinn!

You keep us on our toes as the craziness grows and grows and grows!